My first memories of my relationship with my parents are fleeting images of decades past. They are from a home in which I lived until my sixth birthday. There was the tender care they gave when I had Chicken Pox. Pictures they took of my brothers and me with our lemonade stand. As a young child, my relationship with my parents was filled with love and hope for my future. As a youth and young teenager, I was not an ideal child. My mom and dad were not ideal parents. But for all our weaknesses, I loved them, and I know they loved me.
During the first three years after my baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my relationship with my parents became strained. My teenage brain was beginning to learn the gospel. And for the first time in my life, I was studying the scriptures with great zeal. My conversion to Jesus Christ as my Savior was in its infancy. But I desired to share everything I was learning and feeling with my parents, specifically with my mom.
Foundation of Faith
As a child and pre-teen, my mom was the one who took us to church every Sunday. I fondly remember an Easter sunrise service held at our pastor’s home in the mountains. He preached about the resurrection of Jesus Christ. As the sun rose over the tip of the mountain and light flooded his home, my heart was touched by the Spirit. I didn’t recognize it then, but my mother’s efforts were giving me a foundation of faith that I cherish today. My dad never went to church, ever. He’d had bad experiences with organized religion as a young man and felt no need for it as an adult.
I was learning the gospel of Jesus Christ and of sacred ordinances which could be performed. These ordinances could seal a family together for eternity, not just this mortal existence. I thought, “What joy! Our family can be together forever!” Yet, my teenage mouth couldn’t express what my brain was beginning to understand. What my heart desired to share wasn’t correctly spoken in my youthful zeal, and the discussion of religion became contentious. Contention became consistent and as a result, my dad banned me from discussing religion in our home.
Honor thy father and thy mother
In Exodus 20:12 it says: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” I was shamed by this scripture many times during those first three years following my baptism.
Before my 19th birthday, I committed to serving a full-time mission for the Lord. I was called to serve the people of Thailand. At this time, a miracle began to unfold. I had prayed for a miracle for my mom and dad. To be honest, I was hoping the Savior would pay them a personal visit! But as a teenager, I did not understand how many ways God could work miracles. The miracle began when I was blessed and set apart as a missionary. In that blessing, I was given a wonderful promise if I were to write to my parents faithfully every week. I was told to share what I was learning and how it was blessing the people of Thailand and me. If I was faithful, my parents’ attitudes toward the church and its doctrine would change. I diligently followed the counsel received in that blessing and each week shared the joy of my service as a missionary.
Missionary miracles
The night before I left the Missionary Training Center to fly to Bangkok, Thailand, I was able to call home. As my dad never liked to talk on the phone, I called expecting to speak with my mom. To my surprise, my dad answered and quickly told me my mom was not at home. We spoke for a long time. And I expressed how much I loved him and how excited I was to serve the Lord as a missionary.
I was 19 years old, and I had never heard the words “I love you” from my dad’s mouth. Please understand that at no time during my life did I ever doubt my dad’s love for me, he just never said it out loud. He then said, “I love you, son, I’m proud of what you are doing”. During my missionary service in Thailand, my mom began inviting the local missionaries over to dinner. During those visits, she would proudly exclaim that I was serving a mission for the Lord in Thailand. My dad would allow the missionaries to share a brief message from the scriptures as well.
Together Forever
From that time until they died in 2001, my parents were defenders of my faith. Just before my mom passed away, missionaries once again visited her at their home. Following that visit, she called me and told me they had stopped by. She said “Roy, you know, I always feel so good when the missionaries stop by. I don’t know why, but I always feel good.”
A miracle indeed. Honor your father and your mother. How I wish I had even one more hour with them to tell them how much I love them. My relationship with my parents was never perfect, but I am grateful to them for helping me become the man I am today. One day, we will be together again, and we will have that perfect relationship only possible in heaven.
“For those that live shall inherit the earth, and those that die shall rest from all their labors, and their works shall follow them; and they shall receive a crown in the mansions of my Father, which I have prepared for them.” Doctrine and Covenants 59:2
